At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
