I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just invented taco cereal.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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