a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
