Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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