my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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