I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
