All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
