i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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