Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
