I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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