The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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