We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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