My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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