did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
