He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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