You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize