I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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