She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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