so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
