maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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