I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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