And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
