My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
