and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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