i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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