Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
