I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
