So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
