I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
