I bet he comes in French.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
