He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
