i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
