Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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