He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
