Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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