I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you would pick up someone in the library
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
