Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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