I think i peed on brittanys purse
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
