dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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