called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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