Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize