Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
