i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
