I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have aggressive nipples.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
