I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
