How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
