I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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