i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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