i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
