She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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