i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just cropdusted the office
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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