Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
