Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
