Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
