I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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