I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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