EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
