A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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