I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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