You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize