last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
