I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize